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This isn’t a discussion of the traditional 80/20 rule. This is instead a way to to apply that equation to self improvement, your skills at work, or your physical fitness.

Everything we do in life is a long term game. At least, anything where there’s measurable gains and losses to be tracked.

And there’s a real danger of getting so caught up in being perfect about your habits or your work ethic or behaviors, that it can be crippling.

How many times have you eaten something you weren’t supposed to and then beat yourself up about it? How many times have you pushed some work aside to watch Netflix, and felt anxious the entire time? How many times have you decided that the gym was just too much work, and then felt like a slug all day?

We all have. It’s normal, it’s human, and … most importantly … it’s OK. It really is.

Your diet, your skill set, your fat % … those are all long term games. What’s important is how you perform OVER TIME rather than moment to moment.

When you eat a donut instead of a salad, or watched Netflix instead of working, or skipped the gym in favor of sleeping in there are 2 ways to think about that.

One way, the way most often selected, is to talk yourself down until you feel terrible about it under the misguided notion that this will prevent you from doing it again in the future.

The other way is to just enjoy it. Savor the donut. Melt into the Netflix binge. Pull the covers up and enjoy your sleep.

Often when we beat ourselves up over bad behavior, we end up feeling bad, which leads to more bad behavior. What if, instead, you allow yourself to enjoy your 20% – secure in the knowledge that it isn’t going to cost you much in the long run?

Does this mean you can do those things all the time? No, of course not. Simply apply the 80/20 way of thinking.

So if you’re good for 80% of the time, then it doesn’t matter what you do with that 20%.

One donut or meal isn’t going to give you a pot belly. One Netflix show isn’t going to cause your clients to fire you. One missed work out isn’t going to undo all the time you’ve put in at the gym.

So think about it – if 8 times out of 10, you make a good choice, you will make positive forward progress over time. You have to. It’s almost impossible NOT to.

In that case, the 20% where you’re not perfect can be viewed as a reward, or a justification of working so hard at the 80%.

Trying to be perfect, 100% of the time, is toxic and only leads to frustration, self loathing, and unhappiness.

So go easy on yourself. You’re only human.

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